I remember when
we would play in the yard
clear blue skies
setting sun
rolling hills
green grass
blooming trees
not everything as it seems.

sweet young daughter
running and jumping
into your arms.
doting father
catching
spinning round and round
now all a dream
nothing as it seems.

light receding
darkness falls
screaming voices replace
long gone laughter
tear-soaked pillows replace
bright smiles and kisses
nothing the same.

I ask to play
you say you’re too busy
I ask about summer trips
like we used to have
you say there’s no money
then come home at
strange times, waking
me as you trip
through the house
everything a lie.

I run at you
arm pulled back
hands grip my sides
fingers dig in
you hold me far away
I yell and scream
in your blank face
hit hard as I can
nothing like before.

you’re not him
you’re not daddy
I don’t know who you are
nothing left to love
sadness
hate
all I know
lost happiness
forgotten dreams
not everything as it seems.